No Coincidence: God was Piecing Together the Puzzle

Throughout our journey we have tried to share times when the only reasonable explanation is that God was in control.  We have felt God walking beside us in this journey and there are so many situations that scream God was watching over us. 

1. God made sure that we arrived safely back to Sioux Center in May before I started bleeding and had to visit the ER in Orange City.  Once we arrived in Orange City we fell into the hands of a doctor who loves God and who asked to pray with us before transferring us to Sioux Falls.  What a true Christian to openly share his faith and personal stories with a family he didn't even know. Thank you Dr. Hanson!

2. As we left Orange City to drive to Sanford Hospital in May we had Life 96.5 on the radio.  It was pouring down rain outside and the thunder/lightning was making its presence known.  The song, "Healing Rain" by Michael W. Smith came on the radio.  God knew that Andrew and I had to hear those words and that we needed to be reminded that true healing in Christ comes with fire.  God doesn't say that being a Christian is going to be easy.  God chose us to carry this child for an undetermined amount of time and He was using us for His work.  We knew we could weather this storm and God would stand beside us.  I don't think it was any coincidence that for the next six weeks, every Friday when we had an appointment, it rained.  God was reassuring us that His will was still being done and we just needed to keep on with our journey.

3. In July, my sister and friend happened to be visiting when I needed to go to the ER yet again.  Andrew was flying so if they had not been around I would have had to drive myself to Orange City.  They were also able to each drive a vehicle to Sioux Falls with our luggage since we had to be transferred by ambulance.  This was wonderful because it allowed Andrew to stay with me instead of him having to drive to Sioux Falls alone. I don't think it was a coincidence that my sister Deann did not find a job after graduating in May.  God knew we would need the extra help in our pregnancy and she was able to make trips to Northwest Iowa easier due to not having a job yet.
4. Our contractions stopped in July - that happens in less than 20% of women.  What a God thing!

5.  When a woman gets pregnant she usually has nine months to prepare for the baby's arrival.  She also assumes she will be working for nine more months before having to take a few weeks off.  This obviously was not the case in our situation.  I went on bed rest at only four months pregnant and was no longer bringing in the income we had planned on before the baby's arrival.  In addition, when you have as many doctor's visits, emergency room visits, and an extended hospital stay....the paperwork begins to pile up.  I was starting to get very overwhelmed with all of the bills we were paying and the last thing I wanted was for them to become a burden.  The same day I was complaining to Andrew that I was tired of dealing with our insurance companies and multiple hospitals, we received an email from our church.  They wanted to give us a gift card to help with meals, gas, and any other expenses we may be enduring during our hospital stay.  At this point we had no idea of the monetary value of this gift card but it just reminded us that God WAS in control.  When we were feeling overwhelmed He used that opportunity to calm our nerves and to remind us to trust in Him.  He will provide for us - even financially. 

5. God had planned convenient timing for Andrew's brother Adam to close on a house in Sioux Falls.  This became a huge blessing to us for a few months.  My family was able to stay at his home whenever they came to visit.  I was also able to live in his basement night after night while we waited for the day we would take Makinley home.  It was so nice being close to the hospital but yet having my own space that I could go back to at night.  This was God's way of providing a shelter for us.

6. We were faced with many decisions before Makinley's delivery.  When do we want to be admitted to Sanford once she is viable?  What do we want to do if she is delivered at 23 5/7 weeks?  Do we want doctors to revive her?  What do we want to do if mommy or baby get an infection prior to delivery?  How many weeks do want to wait until we induce?  Do we want to learn how to deal with a child who has a tracheotomy and oxygen?  What do we want doctors to do if she doesn't tolerate labor? 

Thankfully - we NEVER had to give an answer for any of these questions!  We were admitted when contractions started occurring, she was not delivered early (under 24 weeks), we had no infections, God chose the day he wanted her born, she handled labor wonderfully, and she was able to breathe on her own!  NOTHING will ever be able to explain how blessed we are that God took those hard decisions and laid all of the answers out in front of us.

7. Lastly - the biggest miracle of all - our baby girl is alive!  No medical diagnosis, test, or doctor can explain why Makinley survived.  The specialists are even more shocked that she has no lung issues and she is breathing on her own.  They thought we would be in the NICU for close to a year just working with her breathing and after four days she is breathing on her own. 

Thank you Lord - for letting us be a part of your great works. 

Please let us be a witness to those around us and use Makinley's story to benefit you.

Makinley's One Week Old

Makinley has been doing very well the last few days.  She is now back to her birth weight of 4 lbs.  The doctors conducted a routine head scan yesterday.  Everything looked great and there were no brain bleeds.  Makinley was also taken off of the Bili light today.  Her numbers have stabalized and she no longer needs to be under the light. 

We are adaptly quickly to life in the NICU.  It doesn't take very long to learn all of the alarms and whistles.  I swear there are alarms for everything.  She has an oxygen cord that wraps around her foot or hand.  If she moves a lot this will alarm because it does not pick up her levels correctly.  Alarms go off if she doesn't have her three stomach patches on correctly.  They are just sticky on the back so this happens frequently.  If her oxygen level drops below a certain level there is a yellow warning signal and a red danger alarm.  If the red alarm goes off nurses come running in the room and stimulate (rub her back) her to start breathing again.  She is getting caffiene to help eliminate these spells.  We have been told this is very common in the premature babies and they will just keep monitoring her.  Here is a picture Makinley's bed and monitors:

This weekend Andrew bought Makinley her first large stuffed animal.  We found a great big monkey that we thought would be cute in Makinley's NICU room.  I hope to take pictures with it as she grows so we have something to compare in size.  

Daddy & Makinley with Monkey: One Week Old



Makinley: Day 5 in the NICU

Makinley has been very stable the last two days.  She has lost a little weight and now weighs 3lbs 13 oz.  Unfortunately, Andrew & I decided not to go up last night and go up today instead.  I have been struggling to gain strength back and have been dealing with severe back pain.  I have had back problems in the past but thankfully during the pregnancy I felt great.  We made an emergency call to my chiropractor and he saw me this morning and made a few adjustments.  It is hard to do too much though considering I just had a baby five days ago.  I am just hoping the pain subsides a little bit because it currently does not seem like Ibprofin is working and I am not sleeping well at nights.

We packed our bags to stay at Adam's house tonight in Sioux Falls.  We set up an air mattress in his basement and the plan is that I will stay there at night by myself once I feel I have enough strength to do so and Andrew will come join me on the weekends. It is such a blessing to know that we are only fifteen minutes away if we ever need/want to be with Makinley.  Adam has opened his house up so many times and I am thankful he is allowing me to be a "house guest" for an undetermined amount of time.  We met Andrew's dad, Dan at the hospital today.  This was the first time he got to see Makinley. 

Upon arrival the nurse also said that we could hold Makinley today.  YAY!!!  We get to hold our baby girl for the first time.  Andrew was sweet enough to let me go first.  I was so scared to take her out of the incubator.  She seems so much smaller than babies I am used to holding and she has so many cords attached to her.  After I finished holding her then Andrew took his turn.  Of course she has to show off for him too.  Pretty sure he got her to smile.  He would rub his finger on the tip of her nose and she would give a little smile and raise her eyebrows.  So cute to watch them bond already this early on.  Thank you nurse Jill for photographing this precious moment for us.  No one can ever describe what it feels like to finally hold your baby for the first time.  Holding Makinley was the best feeling ever - it made being a mommy feel real to me!  I felt like I had some control in the situation now and it made the 15 weeks of waiting for her arrival totally worth it!

   

Makinley: Day 3 in the NICU

Those of you who have had NICU babies understand how hard it is to be away from your child.  You want to be that sound and smell they are used to but at the same time it is necessary you take care of yourself too.  Today I called in to check on Makinley.  You call the front desk, ask to talk the nurse for your child, wait to be transferred, and then supply a code number that is associated with your kid.  As hard as it is to prove that you are the parent - I am also grateful for this tool that allows parents to follow the care of their child even if they can't physically be present at their bed side.

Makinley is doing awesome.  Far better than anyone would have ever thought.  She is off of ALL oxygen.  Last night she pulled her nasal cannula out and the nurse did not even catch it right away.  She was doing fine without it because none of her monitors went off.  They all decided on rounds to leave it out and see if she could maintain her oxygen.  What a huge accomplishment for Makinley!!  Yesterday, they also decided they would start giving her breast milk to her stomach and start to cut back on the sugar/IV nutrients.  She has been taking 2 ml every three hours for over a day now and had no issues. 

Our only concern at this time, which is common in preemies, is she has times where she stops breathing or holds her breath too long which causes her heart rate to drop.  They are giving her caffeine for this and said it should decrease in two or three weeks.  She also continues to be on the Bili light to help with the jaundice.

Today was my first full day at home.  It did not go so well.  I did not realize how close in proximity everything was for me in my hospital room.  The bathroom, my bed, and even the fridge were only a few steps away.  Now I have to walk a lot farther if I want to lay in bed, or if I want to get a drink, or use the bathroom.  I didn't feel weak while on bed rest but not I can definitely tell I have no energy.  Shortly before lunch I was exhausted and feeling very light headed.  My biggest worry was that I was going to pass out and no one was going to even know it.  Since Andrew was gone on a flight, I called up a friend and previous co-worker, Bonnie Ruden.  Thank you Bonnie for coming to my rescue!!  She was so nice to not only come and sit with me for a while but she brought over some much needed groceries so that we had some food in our house.  Since Andrew spent all of his free time at the hospital with me for two months - we really didn't have anything edible left in our cupboards.  Later in the afternoon, Andrew's mom, Joan came over for a while until Andrew got home.  I am hoping each day gets a little better and I become a little stronger.  I know it is going to take time but at this point I wish it would speed up.

To Makinley: This is the first day we have not been together since we knew of your existence.  It breaks our heart that we could not be with you today.  We love you soo much.  Thank you for doing so well while we are away.  You make us so proud and it makes us not worry so much when you are doing well.  Keep up the good work.  We hope to see you tomorrow!

Makinley: Day 2 in the NICU

Just wanted to give you all a quick update on how Makinley is doing.  We are so pleased with her progress!  Shortly after we updated you yesterday the NICU decided to take Makinley off of the C-pap because she was doing so well.  This meant she went down to only a nasal canula that provides a little bit of oxygen if she needs it. 

Today was a very stressful day for me.  I was feeling very overwhelmed with everything that was trying to be accomplished.  They started Makinley on the bili light since she was showing small signs of jaundice.  My parents took off shortly after lunch.  It was sad to see them leave because they have been such a huge support for us on this long journey.  We were trying to sign all of the discharge papers, birth certificate papers, and get prescriptions filled.  All the while the NICU kept calling to ask us to sign a waiver for them to put a PICC line in Makinley.  This will allow for a more sterile way for the nurses to give her nutrients and medications instead of to her stomach through the umbilical cord line.  I was not feeling confident in doing this procedure at all.  I finally broke down in Makinley's room and Andrew made the decision to go ahead with it.  We have made so many decisions on her behalf and I felt like we didn't have the adequate time to research our options like we had done before. 

We told the NICU nurse Jenn that we would be downstairs waiting for them to call when they were completed.  We packed our bags and brought some of our many things out to the car at this time.  They finally called to tell us the procedure was finished and we could come up to see her again.  I was really anxious and looking forward to possibly holding her before we left for home.  I was sadly disappointed.  They failed to tell us that she would be sedated for this procedure and therefore would not be in the best state to be held.  Not the way a new mommy wants to leave her baby.  It was so frustrating - she was so out of it when we said goodbye but it was time that we headed home as well.

It was weird finally being home again tonight.  Although I knew this was my house - I felt like I was in a totally new place again.  I even had to adjust to the smell of my own home again.  Andrew has a trip tomorrow so hopefully I can survive on my own.  Our plan is to head back on Friday after Andrew gets off work.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  We will keep you updated as things progress with Makinley.

Makinley Grace Schreier has arrived!

We are excited to announce that Makinley Grace Schreier was born yesterday, August 22, at 10:38 am.  She weighed 4 lbs 1 oz.  She tolerated delivery very well for being a premature baby and so far things look good.  Her lungs were developed!  She was intubated immediately after birth and given 45% oxygen so that she didn't have to work as hard to breathe.  After one dose of surfactant, she was down graded to the Cpap machine and is only receiving 21% oxygen(normal human level) as of this morning.  She does have two clubbed feet.  This means that both of her feet turn inward.  It was most likely caused by low fluid amounts.  A baby is not strong enough to push away from things inside the womb and therefore as Makinley grew her feet began to grow inward since they were being pushed up against the uterus wall.  This is something we can address in a month or so and most likely fix with six to eight weeks of casting.  In addition, one of her thumbs is is deformed.  It looks like two fingers put together with two nails, etc.  This is something we will also address later on when she is a little more stable. 

I was able to finally meet our baby girl this morning.  Andrew wheeled me up to the NICU for me to see her.  Her room is on the back wall of the NICU.  Doctors thought she would be in critical condition so they placed her in the high risk area of the floor.  She is so tiny!!  Andrew can wrap his hand around her whole bottom half.  It is so wonderful to see how much he loves her already.  It melts my heart to see the way that he looks at her.  We have loved her from day one but it so nice to put a face with a name now.  She is fairly dark complected which is a trait from her daddy.  Believe it or not she is darker than me at the moment.  No sun and blood loss have caused me to be pretty pale right now.  She has a head full of dark hair.  I can not wait to start putting bows in it!  I wish that we could hold her but so far they have not offered for us to pick her up.  They want to make sure she is stable before we move her a lot.  For now, I will just take in every feature and let her hold on to my finger for as long as she desires!  I am sure nurse Mindy thought we took LOTS of pictures - my sister Dee was making sure to capture our special memories on camera.

 





I would love to stay in Makinley's room every hour of every day but my body is still very weak.  I get light headed really easy and need to do things slowly.  Andrew took me back to our room and we spent some time talking to my family which allowed me to rest.  We will try to keep you updated with progress and appreciate all of your prayers and patience during this time.  We have a lot going on and are still focused on Makinley's well-being as well as the next steps for her care. 

To Makinley - We are so glad you have arrived.  Thank you so much for doing a great job during delivery.  You stayed strong just like we talked about and you didn't cause any problems.  Thank you for crying when you were born so that we knew you were fighting hard and mad to be in that cold room.  You have already won us over and we will help you anyway we can.  We have had your name chosen for a while now.  We really liked the name Kinley but it took us a while to agree on how to spell it.  Once we had that part Makinley just came to us and we figured you could be called Kinley for short if that's what you wanted.  We know that you are a miracle and we wanted to give credit for your birth where credit is due.  This is why we chose your middle name Grace.  It is only by God's grace that you are alive today and we wanted you to always remember that.  You will forever be our miracle baby and we pray that one day you will understand how much of a miracle you are and what a mighty God we serve.

Makinley's Delivery

It is hard to believe that 15 weeks ago we were told that we would lose our baby to a miscarriage after my water broke prematurely.  Only because of God's miraculous works are we excited to announce that Makinley Grace Schreier has arrived!

This past weekend, Andrew and I had a few visitors at the hospital and we got to spend some time with them catching up.  We really enjoyed having people over but I think we were both ready for a good night's sleep on Sunday night.  Andrew left around 7 pm and I requested to be monitored early so that I could go to bed earlier.  Nurse Joleen brought me my sleeping pill (something I have been taking for a while to help drown out the noise of sleeping in a hospital) and I expected to wake up in the morning and do our daily routine yet again.

I woke up shortly after 1 am and got up to use the bathroom.  I thought I was leaking fluid but soon realized I was bleeding.  So I called in the nurse and we started monitoring me to check on baby and to see if I was having contractions.  The monitor confirmed that I was indeed having contractions.  When I first woke up I did not feel any different - less than an hour later I was feeling the contractions.  I think I knew deep down that this was it so I kept asking the nurse if I should call my husband to come up.  She said I should let him know what was happening and we could watch it for fifteen more minutes.  I sent Andrew a text around 1:30 and told him that he was probably going to have to drive back up because I was most likely in labor.  I also remember telling him that if our baby girl was going to be okay I really wanted this to be it so we could be finished with bed rest and move on to the next stage.  They gave me a 1/2 dose of Terbutaline to try and stop my contractions.  We didn't want to do a full dose because after being ruptured for so long this could be my body's way of saying the baby needs to come out for her own safety.  The contractions weakened for maybe 1/2 hour and then started again so at this point we knew we were going to deliver our baby girl. 

Andrew didn't wait for me to send him another text.  He began packing a few things right away and started on his way up to the hospital.  He made it in record time and was in my room by 2:40 am :)  Good thing it was early in the morning and most likely no one else was even on the road!  Once he arrived we went ahead and started an IV (I will forever ask for Lidocaine to be used before the IV needle) and found out that I was 3 cm dilated.  They also said that they wanted to start me on magnesium for the baby's sake.  This would help to strengthen her blood vessels and hopefully eliminate any brain bleeds with her being premature.  I knew this was best for our baby but I was not impressed by the idea.  I had already done one round of magnesium in June so I knew the effects it would have on me.  The only side effect that impacted me revolved around my vision.  After 7 or 8 hours I start seeing double or triple.  Not exactly the way you plan to deliver your own child but I was willing to do it for my baby girl.

I went in with a plan to labor naturally but also knew that if the time came I would get drugs if I felt it was necessary or if our baby needed me to do so.  So I was not happy when one doctor said I should get an epidural just in case they were to need it in the delivery room.  Why would I get an epidural - just because?  I asked for a second opinion and Dr. Boyle said we could go in without one.  They could always put me out or intubate me if things changed during delivery.  Awesome!  One thing Andrew and I have learned after being involved with so many hospitals and doctors - SPEAK YOUR MIND!  Andrew would always remind me that WE have the final say in our care and what procedures we want done.  So I was glad that we remembered that during delivery too and we could continue on a path we chose.

Labor moved along quickly.  I was not super uncomfortable and had nice breaks between contractions.  Most of it was in my back which Andrew and my nurses Tamra & Janelle helped a lot with.  Baby girl was handling delivery awesome - something they didn't know for sure would happen.  Her heart rate was steady and I could still feel her moving.  I tried not to think about the uncertainty of her actual entrance into this world.  We so wanted her to be a part of our family but we also knew her lungs may not have formed.  Andrew was definitely more optimistic than I was.  Maybe he knew he had to be positive for me since I was the one going through all of the unknown changes and procedures.

Around 7 am we found out that Dr. Boyle was the doctor coming on call.  They discussed letting the previous doctor finish our delivery and once again my wonderful husband spoke up on our thoughts.  We have always been thrilled with the level of care and personal relationship we have formed with Dr. Boyle.  Andrew requested that if he was willing we would really appreciate him to deliver our baby.  I don't think this came as a surprise to him.  We had already discussed that if we made it to 34 weeks we wanted to pick an induction date when he could deliver.  We had set the date for September 12 - we should have known not to set a date.  Every time we try to plan something dealing with this baby - she makes her own plans and changes everything.  Needless to say, he was willing to be our delivery doctor today and we found out later that he even gave up a c-section he was supposed to do that morning in order to be our doctor. 

Around 9 am I was told we were going to move to the Operating Room.  We just finished breaking my water - yes you heard correctly!  Although I was losing fluid constantly there was still a pocket of fluid they had to break in order for Makinley to be delivered.  I was dilated to 8 cm and progressing quickly and therefore they didn't want to wait much longer.  We knew we would probably deliver in the OR for precautionary reasons.  Since Makinley's outcome was so unknown they wanted to be prepared for an emergency c-section as well as have the NICU doctors in the room ready to assist her after delivery. 

After moving to the delivery room - my labor slowed down tremendously!  I blame it on the OR table.  I wish to never deliver on an OR table again.  I don't consider myself a big person - and all I remember is that I felt I was going to fall off.  They had me turning side to side and Andrew stood right next to the table so that I wouldn't go off one end.  I recall at one point, Nurse Pam, looked at me and said you better hurry up with this baby - Dr. Boyle is outside the door pacing as if it was his own child being born.  One hour after moving to the OR, they gave me the option to wait out the labor or to start Pitocin.  I was having adequate contractions they were just spaced really far apart.  We opted for the Pitocin since the magnesium was starting to make me see double and I was ready to be done.  A few contractions later it was time to push.  The Pitocin had made Makinley's heart rate drop so Dr. Boyle delivered her as quickly as possible.  A few pushes later our baby girl was born!

I will never forget that moment of hearing Makinley cry.  What a glorious sound - that meant her lungs had formed to some degree and she at least had a chance!!  What a blessing!  I had just accomplished a non-medicated natural delivery and our baby girl was breathing!  Andrew asked if she was a girl since no one had said for sure and he was the first one to notice that she had two thumbs on her right hand.  Dr. Boyle cut the cord and handed her over to the team of doctors near the back of the room.  Andrew counted earlier and said there was probably 15 to 20 people in our delivery room.  He said it was really neat to see how organized they were with her care.  One doctor would step in and evaluate what they needed to, step aside, and the next person would take over.  After the initial evaluations she was ready to head to the NICU.  They did bring her over to me inside of the incubator.  I wish I could have seen her more but the magnesium was causing me to see triple and we were still dealing with some of my complications.

Andrew and I had originally planned to have him go with Makinley after delivery but while in the delivery room we decided I needed him more at the moment.  After Makinley was born my placenta was in pieces and therefore could not be delivered.  This is something the doctor was prepared for since it is more common to occur in pregnancies with little to no fluid.  He was unable to retrieve it and they ended up putting me under for a short period of time.  I vaguely remember the anesthesiologist telling me to open my eyes as we left the OR but then woke up in the recovery room around noon.  Andrew was waiting when I woke up and he told me that Makinley was doing okay.  They did have to intubate her because she needed some help breathing.  They were giving her 45% oxygen at the moment. 

Once I was awake in the recovery room they wanted to move me to our post delivery room.  This was happy and sad.  I really just wanted to go back to "my room" on the High Risk floor and with all of the nurses that I knew.  But while I was sleeping Marsha and Andrew moved all of our stuff into our new room.  My nurse Janelle asked if I wanted to see Makinley.  Of course I wanted to see her!  This sounded a lot better than how it turned out.  They rolled my bed through the NICU and next to Makinleys bed. We couldn't really get my bed high enough for me to get a good view of her in the incubator.  In addition, my body was still overcoming the side effects of the magnesium drip so I couldn't really make her out "clearly" yet.  I guess it is the thought that counts.  We knew Makinley was in good hands with nurse Cindy.

The rest of the day went by quickly.  I remember the nurses were determined to get me standing within a few hours.  I was not so sure.  I knew I could stand - but after 15 weeks of bed rest plus losing 1.5 liters of blood during delivery - I didn't feel like I physically had the strength to stand on my own two feet.  My parents & sister Deann arrived mid afternoon and Andrew took them down to see Makinley.  Adam, Andrew's brother, also came later that evening and was introduced to Makinley.  He was also my family's "hotel" for the night. 

We are so thankful that Makinley's delivery went as smooth as it did.  We are even more blessed to have our baby girl alive and well as part of our family.  We look forward to raising her and watching her grow up!

30 Weeks Along: Week 14 of Bed Rest

We are now at 30 weeks!  The fact that we have made it this far is a complete miracle.  I have been told by our nurses that they continue to talk about me and guess how long I will go because none of them thought we would make it this far.  Most people who rupture at 24 or 25 weeks are delivered by 30 weeks and we ruptured 8 weeks prior to 24 weeks.  I keep telling them - whatever the book or statistic is - just figure we will be the opposite!

Our baby is a chunk - no other way to put it.  It weighed 3 lbs 15 oz today which is more than a pound gained from two weeks ago!  Remember, they usually gain 8 oz every two weeks at this stage yet.  This puts us in the 78% now.  I blame this big growth to a few good home cooked meals that were brought up last week during my mom and sister's visit.  Fluid levels continue to fluctuate anywhere from 1 cm up to 4 cm over the last two weeks.  We have made it through another successful spray season and Andrew is now back to flying trips again.  We are thankful that this baby held off so he could help out during that busy time and for everyone's safety flying or on the ground.  To say that I enjoyed seeing him again for a full weekend this last week would be an understatement! 

Our prayer requests for these next couple of weeks would be for patience & trust.  Patience seems to be a common theme but as we continue to get closer to delivery we are both getting anxious.  In addition, it is getting more difficult for me to be stuck at the hospital and watch Andrew & others leave all the time.  I am ready to get back to some normal activities and not be "watched" anymore.  I have passed the 50 day mark in the hospital!  Trust is the second request because we want to be an example for others and trust in God's plan.  We truly hope that our "waiting" brings home a miracle but we know that God could choose to take our baby to heaven too. 

(To Makinley)  We are so glad that you are still happy in your "little pool" of water.  You have been such a trooper through all of this when I am sure you are squished and working hard.  We are so glad that you continue to grow ahead of schedule which will hopefully just give you a better fighting chance at delivery.  Mommy is starting to get sick of the hospital.  The nurses are great and taking me outside with them for break or through the museum downstairs.  But nothing will fill that "want" of leaving the hospital to go home.  I just hope and pray that we get to take you home with us at some point.  I will wait here as long as you need me to if it means you will survive.  Love you baby girl.

Pictures taken at 30 weeks gestation on our Sunday trip out to the gardens near the castle. 

It was so nice to be outside and soak up the sun.

Trying to Stay Patient

The days seem to go by more slowly now.  I have completed seven weeks of bed rest and I am willing to admit I want it to be done.  I wish I could leave the hospital and do something "normal" but unfortunately that is not an option.  Andrew has been working long days lately during spray season and it is starting to take a toll on me.  This past Friday I called him and told him that he would be in Sioux Falls by noon on Saturday.  I needed him to spend some time with me rather than arriving at midnight and leaving on Sunday.  Truthfully, I didn't care if he lost his job as long as he made it up.  Once again - God must have known that I really did need him with me.  Andrew's boss, Randy, let him off early on Friday afternoon and told him he should spend the weekend with me.  Andrew didn't even have to ask to leave early.  I was THRILLED!!  That is a whole day before I expected him!

Although I love the weekends - I also hate them.  I love to have Andrew join me and take me for walks outside but I dread Sunday nights.  I hate having him go and lately I find myself crying as he leaves.  I am not trying to make him feel guilty but it is just hard to watch him go through the sky walk and then drive out of the parking garage.  Quite frankly, it is getting harder to see anyone leave after they come for a visit.

I am sick of being a patient.  The nurses do an excellent job of giving me space but they still have to do their job too.  I look forward to the comfort of my own home when I am all alone and I know no one is going to be checking on me to get a temperature or blood pressure reading.  I am sick of having my blood taken.  I am not a fan of needles and I have had over 20 blood draws over the last couple of months.  I swear my arms are going to be scarred for life.  I even refused the blood draw on Monday.  My white blood cells have been great all along and they have always said I would spike a fever as well if an infection occurred.  I did finally give in but we are going to do it once a week now instead of once every four days.

I am also trying to keep my sanity.  The last few days the hospital has had construction workers on the roofs.  They are doing roof repair.  While it is fun to look out the window and have someone to watch - I am sick of the noise!  They are sucking up the rocks that cover the roof with a metal vacuum like device and it goes into a metal holding truck.  So imagine hearing rocks moving around against metal ALL day long.  I have tried turning up my headphones, turning up the TV, and ignoring it but nothing works.  This has been going on for two days straight.  I finally told the nurse that I was going into the waiting room area away from my room and the construction.  I needed to get away from the noise and vibration just to think straight.  Here are a few pictures to give you a better idea of what I am trying to say.

Please continue to pray for Andrew and I as we wait for delivery day.  We want to do whatever is best for our baby but days like yesterday make the time go by very slowly.  But we continue to give thanks for the progress we have made and be thankful that today is a new day.  Even better - they are done with the roof repair!!!

Friends: Far & Wide

When one is facing a trial in their life we expect our family to walk beside us.  We NEED their support and guidance to help us through difficult times.  What we may not expect is that same dedication and thoughtfulness from friends.  Andrew and I have been so blessed by everyone around us.  We have heard from people that we may not have been in touch with for a while, friends who are always in our life, and friends that are far away.  Here are just a few stand out examples that have touched us recently.....

* My high school English teacher from Pella, Mr. Blankespoor and his wife came to visit me at Sanford Hospital.  I got to know both of them fairly well in high school since I was involved in many speech competitions.  Mr. Blankespoor and his wife were in charge of the speech department so we were able to practice and travel to various competitions together.  I always appreciated the time and effort he dedicated to his students in the classroom and in speech but I never expected him to visit me now.  Our conversation did not seem like seven years had passed since I sat in his classroom.  Thank you for making my day and showing what a great man you are and how deeply you cared about your students - then and now.

* When you are going through a difficult time it is nice to know someone else is walking a similar path.  You can relate to each other and fully understand what the other one is going through.  It gives you the opportunity to ask questions and build each other up if one experiences a set back.  Although we would never wish difficult times on you - Joel & Sarah Bruxvoort - it was a blessing to walk with you on your journey while we were enduring ours.  I have known Joel and Sarah for many years.  Growing up my family would vacation with Joel's family and I would go for play dates a few miles down the gravel road to Sarah's house in Oskaloosa.  I never would have thought that God would bring us back together in this way but yet I wouldn't change it.  Their daughter Abigail was born at 24 weeks weighing in under two pounds.  Two weeks after we visited them at Avera hospital in Sioux Falls I ended up on bed rest when my water broke.  Sarah lived in Sioux Falls to be with Abigail while Joel traveled back in forth between their hometown of Pella, Iowa to work and Sioux Falls to visit on the weekends.  Unfortunately, we were not at the same hospital but I was so thankful that I could ask her questions about having a premature baby and we could vent together about hospital things that we could both understand.  Thank you for support, visits, phone calls, and for walking beside us in Sioux Falls.  Praise the Lord that you get to love and raise your precious miracle, Abby.

* No words will ever be enough to thank our close group of friends.  You visited us frequently, let our family stay at your house, & helped me pass the time when Andrew was crop dusting.  You brought in food for me and/or Andrew but you wouldn't take anything in return.  A true friend shows you how much they care and you guys went way beyond anything we could have asked.  I was in the hospital for eight weeks and every Tuesday at least one of our friends would stop and bring food.  I have to say a special thanks to Lisa DeStigter who visited me every Tuesday I was in the hospital.  You set up my haircut with your sister and you continued to visit in the NICU.  We will never be able to tell you how much you all mean to us but maybe one day the opportunity will arise and we can show you a true friend in return.

* If this baby was going to survive we knew a lengthy hospital stay was going to be necessary.  Many other people had thought of this as well and were sending books, movies, word puzzles, candy, or anything else that might help me pass the time.  One day, I was surprised to get a care package from a close friend from high school.  Mandy Klyn(Van Woerkom) and I had been really close in high school, reconnected for a short time on the Chicago Semester program, and then have not spoken in a while.  Not that either one of us doesn't care about the other one - life just happens and time gets away from you.  She sent various items along with cute little tags as to why she chose that item.  The one that I was not expecting was a cross stitch  quilt pattern with all of the necessary supplies.  I have never cross stitched in my life and was wondering how & when I would tackle this project.  Little did I know this would become a life saver.  Because of you Mandy - I never opened a single book during my entire stay at Sanford Hospital.  A nurse saw it in my stash of things, came into my room when she had some spare time, and showed me how to start.  I stitched away ALL the time.  I stitched for the three hours that I was monitored every day, when I was watching TV, or when Andrew was taking a nap on Sundays.  It was the perfect way to pass time for me.  It was challenging because I tried to keep it as neat as possible and use the least amount of thread possible.  It had a purpose because it will be an awesome keep sake for me and Makinley.  And it became a talking point - all of the nurses would come in on their next shift and ask how far I was on the blanket.  Thank you for sending such an awesome piece.  I am sorry that it took a situation like this for us to reconnect but I am glad that we can still pick up where we left off!

We thank ALL of you for praying for us and taking action to make sure we have everything we need.  We are so happy to have a great support system for us during this lengthy journey.

Mom & Deann's Visit

Andrew has been really busy with spray season at the airport so my mom Cyndi and sister Deann planned a visit to see me in the hospital again.  I was looking forward to their visit but also to the homeade food and goodies they promised me as well.  They went straight to Adam's house when they arrived in Sioux Falls in order to drop off their luggage and to start cooking manicotti in the oven.  It was so nice to enjoy a "real" meal along with some homeade applesauce!   While they were around we spent a lot of time outside.  They were able to wheel me around and I was able to enjoy the warmth from the sun for a few days!  As you can see, my mom is in the picture pushing me around.  I should point out though that she made Dee push me up the ramp to ensure we made it to the top :) 

Here we are enjoying our daily lunch.  No hospital food for us!  We poured our own drink into the cups with ice and then headed to the outdoor patio to eat.  We did have sandwhiches in addition to the wheat thins, spray cheese, and sun chips you see sitting on the table!  We tried to at least make it LOOK healthy to onlookers...aka doctors and nurses on their break.  We spent some time watching movies in my room and just catching up on what was happening in our lives.  They were so kind to stay at our home in Sioux Center one night and they cleaned everything for us.  Andrew has done a great job but some of the deep cleaning has not been done since May.  Thank you for helping us out in this way! 

 

Lastly, we enjoyed a few smoothies together.  I think they will both tell you that it is worth the five hour drive just to get these smoothies.  Thanks to Grandpa Lester Fynaardt who provided us with his famous $2 bills to purchase a few smoothies. On a side note - have you ever seen what a mess a smoothie can make?  Right before we took this picture we were able to witness a smoothie flying through the air and going splat over people, the carpet, the wall, and the hanging picture.  We escaped with only a few drops on our clothes but made sure our lids were on tight before we walked away to head back!

28 Weeks Along - Week 12 of Bed Rest

We are already in August and we have made it to the 28 week point!  This baby continues to surprise everyone with how well it is doing and we give praise to God for making it all possible.  The last few weeks have been going really well.  We have not had any bumps in the road like we did a few weeks ago.  We are thankful for that. I was able to take a short outing with Andrew recently.  It was so nice to get in a vehicle and leave the hospital away from the four walls of my room.  We had to obtain a pass from the hospital since as a patient I am not supposed to leave hospital grounds.  This was the first time that I have left the grounds in 5.5 weeks.  It went really well and I felt better than what I do sometimes at the hospital.  We made a quick stop to Target so I could buy a few things, "people watched" at the mall while eating a pretzel, and got some fresh air while sitting at Falls Park.  It was so nice to feel "normal" again and definitely hard to let Andrew take me back. 

                                    

Pictures taken at 26.5 weeks pregnant

My white blood cell counts continue to be in the average range (last count was a 9) and sometimes we question whether it is really necessary for them to take it so often.  We had a growth ultrasound today and the baby weighs 2 lbs 14 oz!  I told Andrew that the munchies in my room plus ice cream have helped account for the good growth :)  We are now in the 74% range and things continue to look fine with the baby.  Fluid was at 3 cm and continues to fluctuate because a week ago we had 5.3 which was the highest we have had since 16 weeks. 

We ask that you continue to pray for health for the baby because that is our highest concern and the reason we continue on this journey.  But we also ask that you pray for patience, strength, and endurance for us.  This weekend marks 12 weeks that we have been on bed rest and 5.5 of those were here at Sanford.  With Andrew working long hours we usually only see each other on Sunday's which makes for really long days/weeks for both of us.  We know every day is a blessing and we are both where we are supposed to be but it is fair to say that the waiting is starting to take its toll on both of us.  I think we are getting anxious now that we see an "end" in sight which could be six weeks away yet.  Thank you for your continued prayers, to those of you who have stopped to visit, brought me supper or munchies, and for those of you who have helped financially.  It is ALL greatly appreciated!!

What does it look & feel like to have no fluid?

I decided that I will write a blog to answer the question I hear the most.  "What does it look and feel like to have no fluid?"  Now that we have been on this journey for almost three months I should be able to answer accurately.  I hope this information better explains our situation and what is going on with me.  I also hope that if any other woman is experiencing what we are going through this will answer some of her questions of "what happens."  I know I would have loved to talk to someone who had gone through everything ahead of me just to give me an idea of what to expect. 

What does it feel like?

I feel like a normal pregnant woman.  I feel fine some days and other days I feel really large :)  I think the big difference for me is that ever since I ruptured at 16 weeks it has not been comfortable for me to sit straight up.  So kitchen tables/church pews are not comfortable for me and I will choose to sit in a recliner with my feet up.  Or whenever we had appointments, I would recline the seat back in the car instead of being upright.  This is largely due to the fact that I feel like I am pinching my stomach when I sit upright.  My only explanation for this discomfort is that because there is little fluid I feel more of her extremities with my own and feel like I am squishing her quicker.  The other major change is that I am not allowed to take any baths - only showers.  So even though it would be so nice to soak in the Jacuzzi tub in my hospital room, I can only look at it :)  This is to eliminate another route that an infection could occur.  There is no membrane of fluid protecting the baby from an infection or virus so I need to take this precaution of protecting the baby myself.

What happens with no fluid?

When I ruptured at 16 weeks I truthfully thought I just didn't make it to the bathroom in time.  I had just been on the road for a few hours without stopping for a bathroom and figured it was my own fault.  No big deal.  This would be a normal assumption since at 16 weeks, when your water breaks, there is not a significant amount of fluid to lose compared to if you are 40 weeks along.

For some reason my body maintains small amounts of fluid, loses that fluid, and regains some more.  The fluid inside a mother's womb is swallowed by the baby and then released by the baby.  So the first few weeks of bed rest I would go 3 to 5 days without leaking any fluid.  Once again, this makes sense since the baby is smaller and not taking in as much so my body could hold on to the small amounts for longer.  As the baby grew I would lose fluid more often.  It is a similar feeling to my water breaking over and over again.  I can not predict when it will happen and I can not tell you how much fluid I will lose.  Now that the baby is larger she can hold more fluid inside of her own stomach.  When she releases that fluid - there is a greater chance I will lose some because my body is not retaining large amounts. 

What does it look like to have no fluid?

At our  ultrasound today I took a picture of the "fluid measuring" screen so that I could try to explain how they measure my fluid and what it looks like to have none.  If you think of an ultrasound, they rely heavily on the fluid to gain good pictures of the baby.  We will never have any great pictures of our daughter since she will never have large amounts of fluid. 

In this picture there are four quadrants.  When the tech performs the ultrasound she mentally divides my stomach into four quadrants.  In each quadrant she looks for a pocket of fluid. They then measure that pocket from top to bottom in centimeters.  The next step is to add up all four quadrants to get a final fluid number.  In this particular ultrasound, they found two pockets of fluid.  Both pictures on the left have a small line that is measuring the pocket in those two quadrants.  One was 1.73 cm and one was 1.3 so my total fluid for this ultrasound was 3 cm.  In a typical pregnancy you will see 9 to 26 cm of fluid around the baby.