Baby Shower Hosted by Our Family

 

Due to the complications with Makinley's pregnancy my sisters were not able to throw me a baby shower until after her arrival.  The first weekend in October, Andrew and I travled to Oskaloosa for a baby shower and to enjoy spending some time with family during the harvest season.  My grandma Fynaardt willingly opened up her home yet again and on Saturday morning I celebrated Makinley's arrival with family and friends.  We enjoyed a breakfast/brunch including french toast, mini crescent rolls, meat & cheese platter, fruit, and a cold slush/punch.  Since Makinley was still in the NICU, Deann created a nice slide show of pictures that people could watch while they were eating. 

We followed breakfast with games that Dee had so cleverly planned.  While I was on bed rest I quite frequently made phone calls to relatives at all hours of the day.  So the first game put my multi-tasking skills to the test.  We were challenged to hold Annie the cabbage doll, talk on the cell phone, and hang clothes up on the clothes line - all at the same time!  I posted one picture of the various people who tried.  I thought it was very interesting to see how the tactic/strategy changed as the game progressed!

 

Makenzie was brave enough to go first.  She needed both hands to pin the clothes and opted to hold Annie between her legs.  I was volunteered to go second.  I was ready to show off my multi-tasking skills. I ended up placing 2nd behind my sister Jenna.

Jeanetta was the first person to think outside of the box. 

She placed all of the clothes pins on the line first and then went back to put the clothes on.

My mom also tried something different to hopefully get the best time.

She draped all of the clothes over first and then placed the clothes pin over top of them.



Grandma Fynaardt definitely knew how to handle the clothes pins the best. 
She placed them in her mouth to free up her hands. 
We also allowed her to use a regular phone since that was more her era than a cell phone :)

And the winner of our game was Jenna.  I think she benefited from going last. 
She tucked Annie in her shirt so she was hands free and then used mom's idea of draping the clothes and following with a clothes pin.  This strategy worked better for her than mom since she had both hands to move more quickly.  Good job Jenna :)

 

The next game we played revolved around the Price is Right.  I had my TV options memorized while I was on bed rest and from 10 am - 11 am I always watched the Price is Right.  Deann bought various items and we had to guess the price.  After we guessed all of the items, we added up our total, and the person closest to the real total was the winner.  Obviously my Price is Right watching paid off because I was the winner of this game!  I have to admit that the decorative basket saved me.  I guessed it was way under what the actual price was so that helped even my over bids of everything else she had purchased!  The last game we played ironically revolved around treats.  I guess it is no secret to my family and friends how much I like sweets if they both used this game at our baby shower!  The game was titled "Makinley - How SWEET She Is" which required us to match candy bar names to a phrase.  As much as I liked sweets - I did not do very well at this game :(



Lastly, I opened all of the various gifts that friends and family so generously gave us.  I also used this opportunity to take a picture with Mandy and my progress on the cross stitch project she gave to me while on bed rest. 





Family Guests along with a picture of Makinley since she couldn't physically be present. 

Front Row L to R: Shannon Vos, Cyndi Fynaardt, Deann DeGroot, Jenna Fynaardt, Amanda VandeVoort, Michelle Van Maanen, Makenzie Van Maanen

Back Row L to R: Autumn Vos, Kim Vos, Pearl Vos, Me, Rachel Fynaardt, Barb Vande Voorst

Friends at the Shower: 

Mandy Klyn, Brittany Dieleman, Jeanetta Nieuwsma holding daughter Lydia, Me, Victoria Plate, Amy Holmquist, and Jana Van Zante holding daughter Alexa.



No G-tube for Makinley

I never thought I would be a NICU parent.  When I started bed rest at 16 weeks - I prayed to be a NICU parent.  If we had a baby in the NICU that was wonderful because it meant our baby survived with little to no fluid.  In August, we were granted this wish, and we became NICU parents.  It was scary, emotional, overwhelming and new all at the same time.  Now that we have been here for almost seven weeks we feel we know the routine pretty well.  We also start to learn more about Makinley and once again we are standing up for what we feel is best for her.

We were informed this week that we should consider giving Makinley a G-tube.  A G-tube is a feeding tube that is placed in Makinley's stomach and would provide a direct route for milk to reach her stomach.  Andrew and I have been against a G-tube from the beginning and we're not impressed that it was even brought up to us as an option at this point.  When we toured the NICU in June - we learned that most babies go home between 39 and 41 weeks of gestation.  Makinley is only 37 weeks gestation so why are doctors wanting to move forward with a G-tube?  They feel that she is not learning to eat and therefore a G-tube would enable us to go home sooner.  As hard as it is for us to watch family after family leave the NICU - I am not going to justify getting a G-tube just so we can go home sooner.  I was not shy when I told the doctor I was NOT giving Makinley a G-tube.  I would not even consider a G-tube until she was at least 41 weeks old and then I would push to go home with an NG tube. 

Here are multiple reasons Andrew and I are against the G-tube:

1. It is a surgical procedure.  When dealing with a tiny baby most doctors will agree that you don't want to put them down with anesthesia unless absolutely necessary.  It is also highly discouraged to do it multiple times when they are just a baby.  We know that we will have to do surgery on Makinley's club feet at the end of the year which would require anesthesia.  Therefore we do not want to move forward with another surgical procedure that we don't feel is necessary. 

2. A G-tube comes with many risks such as infections and it requires you to follow up with feeding clinics on a regular basis.  We already have many appointments scheduled to help correct Makinley's feet and therefore we would like to avoid having to follow up with a feeding clinic.
3. Andrew and I feel babies with G-tubes become reliant on G-tubes.  It is the easy way to get a meal so why would they want to learn how to eat on their own when the G-tube does it for them.  We want Makinley to push herself and achieve the desire to eat on her own.  We know this is time consuming now but will benefit her months down the road.

4. There are other options.  We feel like a G-tube is the easy way out or the quick way to send us home.  Parents can go home with an NG tube.  I thought it was interesting that nurses who were also a parent to a NICU child went home with an NG tube.  They did not choose a G-tube.  This says to us that they also felt a G-tube was too much risk and would rather do an NG tube.  I have had many nurses tell me I would be more than capable of learning how to place and NG tube and Makinley would most likely do fine with it.  So once we said we would push for an NG tube - doctors were more open to letting her try to bottle on her own for a longer amount of time.

With that being said, Andrew and I are not condemning any parent who has chosen to do a G-tube for their child.  We know they are a tool the hospital can provide for babies who really do need that help.  But we feel like it is not the right options for Makinley and we just need to give her more time to feed.

Baby Shower from Our Friends

Back Row L to R: Angela Roelfs, Emily Van Deraa, Lisa DeStigter, Valerie Van Beek

Front Row: L to R: Tricia Hessing, Heidi Ragsdale, Me, Jen DeWild

Tonight some of our friends from the area threw me a baby shower.  It was so nice to step away from the hospital for a few hours and hang out with the people who have been part of our support system on this journey.  We met at Jen DeWild's house in Sioux Falls and they had prepared supper for everyone. 

Supper was followed by a few games.  I love the picture below.  I think there is so much going on in the picture.  This was taken during the Baby Babble Game. You had to unscramble the letters to create a word which was associated with babies. Val is picking her brain, Ang is thinking "oh no", I am deep in concentration because we all know I am competitive, and Heidi is cheating off of Trica.  It makes me laugh every time!  I also learned which characteristics/talents/features they would want Makinley to gain from me and which ones they would want her to gain from Andrew from a  Baby Trait game.  We concluded with a game dealing primarily with treats: Candy Concentration in which we had to match various candy names or brands with a phrase that fit that name/brand. 

After games we shared a delicious ice cream cake made my Emily.  She did such a good job on decorating the cake as well as creating the diaper cake which was pictured above.  Thank you to everyone who was able to attend and for the gifts that you showered us with.  Your support means so much to us and we are so thankful to have ALL of you in our lives!

Makinley's Six Weeks Old

We have officially flipped the calendar to October.  Ideally, I should still be pregnant with Makinley.  That seems so weird to me since she has already been around for a while.  Most parents wouldn't even know their child's personality yet or what features they possess - let alone hold them in their arms.

Makinley's newest update:
* She is now 6 lbs 11 oz and 54 cm long
* She passed her eye exam with flying colors. Dr. Tufty, the eye doctor, didn't even require a follow up visit.
* She is starting to be more alert.  I love how she listens to me very intently when I hold her in the morning.  She takes in every word like it is so important when in reality I usually make up stories about kittens and an adventure they have with different farm animals!
* We increased Makinley's feedings to 10 cc's (or 1/3 of an ounce).  We are learning the feedings are just a slow process!
* Her eyes have been filled with matter this week.  We gave her some eye drops to hopefully clear them up. They assume her ducts are just maturing more since she has no signs of a cold or sickness.


Six Week Monkey Picture



Grandparents Finally Hold Makinley

For those of you who have NICU babies you understand all of the extra precautions one takes to avoid any sickness reaching their child.  First - you scrub into the NICU area for a whole two minutes.  Then, if you want to hold your child you need to put on a gown to avoid any germs from your clothes to reach your baby.  If you have a cold or feel sick - as hard as it is - you stay away from your baby.  We have been debating when and who we would allow to hold Makinley.  We WANT everyone to hold her but we also know it is important for her to stay healthy. 

This weekend Grandpa Rog and Grandma Cyndi came to visit.  We felt we needed a little extra support after a rough week.  Once they arrived, we suprised them by letting them hold Makinley for the first time :)   They were thrilled!  (This was mom's fourth visit to Sioux Falls since Makinley was born so she was more than ready to hold her.)  Here are a few pictures we captured:



Grandma holding Makinley 9-24-11



Grandpa holding Makinley 9-25-11



One Acronym Changed Our World - PVL

I will never forget Thursday, September 22, 2011.  It was a day I would love to erase from my mind and forget it even existed.  I woke up like any other day, showered, left my brother-in-law's home and headed to the hospital to see Makinley.  By now, I had a routine down and I usually arrived between 10 and 10:30 am to be present for Makinley's 11 am feeding.  Elizabeth would usually be arriving shortly or already in the room doing therapy with Makinley.  This day was no different.  I checked into the NICU,  dropped all of my bags(cooler with my milk from the previous night, purse, lap top briefcase, and large tote with anything else I felt I needed for the day) on the bench so I could scrub in, and then proceeded down the hallway to Makinley's room. 

Elizabeth was sitting in the green rocking chair and was just finishing working on Makinley's feet for the day.  I put on my gown and she handed Makinley to me.  We chatted for a little bit and then the doctors showed up for rounds.  Jenn was Makinley's nurse for the day and she started going through the regular statistic reports and was communicating with our Nurse Practitioner Jean and Doctor Michelle Baack.  Then they paused and reminded me they conducted a routine head ultrasound on Makinley the night before. (They do a head scan to check for brain bleeding and any abnormalities within a few days of a baby's birth and then a follow up scan at one month of age.)  They told me it did not come back normal.  Makinley had a serious brain injury called PVL - Pariventricular Leuko-Malacia. 

My world stopped.  I was uncomfortable being in the room with everyone now and they all seemed just as uncomfortable as I was feeling.  Dr. Baack went on to explain that Makinley had many "gaps" in her brain and it was quite significant.  This disease could affect her mobility and her mental learning capabilites. She stated that all of the Neo doctors were shocked with the results.  Makinley was doing so well with her health that they almost didn't conduct the routine scan because no one anticipated anything.  She was very sincere and offered to answer any questions that I wanted to ask now or later.  I put on a brave face - more than what seemed possible - and just said that we would continue moving forward with Makinley's care just as we have in the past.  She has already beaten the odds so who says that has to stop now.  I knew in my heart this was true but it did not make my mind feel any better about what they were telling me.  NO parent wants THEIR kid to have disabilities.  I did manage to ask how this was missed on her initial brain scan one month earlier.  They assume it was present but not recognized on the scan because she was so tiny and her brain was much smaller too.  They also said this disease will not get better but it will not get worse.

They did not hover around for long which I appreciated.  For some reason - I felt like I could not cry in the room in front of them or in front of Makinley.  After they moved to the next room, I excused myself to grab a bite to eat since I skipped breakfast.  Elizabeth said she would stop back this afternoon to see if I had any questions.  I grabbed my keys, a kleenex pouch, and headed directly outside to the gardens in front of the Castle.  Andrew and I sat here a lot before Makinley was born.  During those summer months I wondered if our baby girl would survive.  I prayed that God would allow me to raise her and teach her how to love Him.  Now I was sitting there crying my eyes out asking why He would give me a child with a disability.  Why did He make us go through such a difficult pregnancy and then add this on top of it. 

I called Andrew as soon as I was outside.  I told him that he needed to come and spend the day at the hospital with me.  Makinley's brain scan was not normal and they are saying it is quite severe.  I don't remember why his plans changed for the day but he was already on his way up to Sanford and was driving through Canton when I called him.  This is yet another puzzle piece God already had in place so that he would arrive way quicker to be with his family during this time.  As I waited for Andrew to meet me - I sat on that bench and cried.  I cried selfishly for myself.  I didn't know if I had the patience to deal with a disabled child.  How was I going to lift a child who may never walk?  Why was God asking me to overcome yet again? We already had her club feet to address - now this.  I felt like he kept throwing me a baseball and I was supposed to catch it.  I was sick of playing catch and I wanted to throw this back at Him.  Then I cried for Makinley.  Will her fellow classmates make fun of her?  Will someone love her with disabilities?  Will she be able to run and play?  Will she understand us when we talk to her?  Then I cried because I was having such negative thoughts.  I didn't love her any less than I did the day before but yet she seemed so distant to me.  Why was I questioning God's plan for my daughter....I should be more thankful that He spared her life and He is letting me raise her.  So many things flooded my mind and all I could do about it was cry.  I couldn't change her diagnosis. I couldn't change the outcome.  Once again - I had no control in a situation with no end.

Andrew arrived and was much stronger than me.  He wanted to go see Makinley and although I was reluctant I went along.  At that moment, when the diagnosis was still setting in, it hurt me to see her just knowing the challenges she was going to face as well as our family.  Thankfully, after my meltdown, God picked me up and reminded me of the precious blessing of our child.  I was willing to face the challenges ahead and be the mommy that Makinley needed.

Elizabeth came back in our room that afternoon.  She was so kind to Andrew and I.  She drew pictures on the white board and fully explained this disease to both of us.  She told us what she saw from looking at the scans and what areas she thought would be affected on Makinley.  Makinely has large gaps/cysts in the white brain matter.  This interferes with the messages that need to be sent to and from her spinal cord.  Makinley's gaps are closer to her brain which means her lower extremities will be more affected.  Therefore we do not know if Makinley will ever crawl or walk on her own or assisted.  Elizabeth explained that mentally we will not know where Makinley is at until she is older.  She is currently doing really well and is receptive to people, noises, and toys around her visually and audibly.  It could even be that Makinley will be able to learn things it just wont be to the depth that others learn.  For instance she may say "The boy ran." and we would say "The two year old boy ran quickly down the street." 

She went on to tell us the better news.  We can try to "train" Makinley's brain to pick up more signals.  We may need to teach her backwards by showing/making her body do a movement and then the signal gets sent to her brain and recognizes it needs to make a path for that signal.  I compare it to a road closed.  If you travel the same road and all of the sudden that road is gone you are stuck.  But someone or something can help direct you a different way to still get the final outcome.  In the same way - we can try to teach Makinley things and hope that her brain will recognize the signal, realize it doesn't have a path for that signal, and send messages down new pathways around the gaps in her brain. 

Although this information is hard to hear - we are thankful that we have found it so early.  Most PVL cases are not found until a child is two or three years old and is not progressing normally.  We are lucky we found Makinley's very early and we can start sending her messages before her actual due date.  We know this was in God's plan and we will embrace it.  I just have to remind myself to focus on one day at a time and not try to fix years down the road.

To Makinley: I want you to focus on this important message from your daddy and I.  We love you forever and ever.  We were not happy when we heard about your brain disorder.  We felt discouraged and scared of what everything meant.  But we want you to know that our love for you NEVER changed.  We love you just the way you are.  Remember that God never messes up and His plan is perfect.  He created you inside of me and He created you just how HE wanted you to be.  He wanted you to have clubbed feet when you were born, He wanted you to have two thumbs on your right hand, He wanted you to have ears and a nose like your dad's, He wanted you to have lots of dark hair, He wanted you to be here!  And as much as we love you here on this earth - God loves you even more than we can.  Isn't that amazing.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are not special or that you have problems.  You are a fighter!  You kept fighting to be alive while you were in my tummy and you will be a fighter on earth too.  God needs you to be strong and we need you to be strong.  We promise to walk beside you and support you through your entire life no matter what challenges lay ahead.  We will be your listening ears, your advocates, your cheerleaders, and your cuddle buddies.  Remember Makinley Grace - WE LOVE YOU!  Your disorder does not change that but instead makes us love you even more! Don't ever forget that.

Cherishing One Month of Blessings

We had to get creative for some fun family pictures.  My mom came up for the weekend and we made Makinley's room into a make shift studio.  Here are just a few of the many photos snapped.  Enjoy!

To Makinley: You are one special little girl.  We continue to "oooh & ahh" over you and the many new faces you continue to show us.  We are starting to learn your personality and hopefully learning more of your wants and needs.  We know you are a "hot box."  We had so many fleece sleepers that are going to go unused because you start running a temperature whenever you wear them.  That is okay though - just gives me an excuse to go and buy you cute onesies to wear everyday!  You like to ignore people when they come and talk to you.  You "act" like you are sleeping but mommy knows you are just laying there hoping they will go away.  You are a very content baby unless you want something.  And when you want something - you let everyone know it!  Your cry can be heard way down the hallway and recognized by your regular nurses.
We can not believe you are one month old already.  God has truly blessed us with you and we are enjoying every minute of it.  We are so thankful you are healthy and look forward to taking you home.  We are anxious to be home as a family but we also realize you are not ready yet.  We love you Makinley!

Makinley's One Month Old

LOOK!  Our baby girl is wearing clothes AND in a big girl crib!   We moved Makinley from an incubated giraffe isolette to a open crib on Wednesday.  The nurses joked that we knew for sure Makinley was ready when the isolette was adding cold air to her instead of warm air.  Once we had her moved they told me I could put clothes on her too since she was 34 weeks gestation now.  I was so excited!!  Finally got to dress my little girl.  I had plenty of clothes on hand but had to change my options once I realized we had to work around all of the cords and some of my options were still too big.  We opted for this pink/white onesie for her first outfit.  I have learned very quickly that it is hard to find preemie clothes - hint to others- Gerber Newborn clothes run smaller and work really well for preemie babies.

We have been working everyday with the NICU physical therapist, Elizabeth.  She does a really good job and I look forward to seeing her everyday.  She works a lot on Makinley's feet, legs, and neck.  She is trying to stretch her feet so that maybe we can eliminate a week or two of casting.  After she finishes stretching her feet we use some soft white cloths to wrap around her feet to maintain that stretch a little longer.  We also try to straighten out her legs more.  This is done with stretching as well.  When she is finished she swaddles Makinley very tight to help hold the leg stretch while she sleeps after therapy.  Sometimes we put a "frog" bean bag on top of her knees to gain a little bigger stretch.  The neck therapy is just to help keep a range of motion since babies lay on their head all the time in the NICU when most of them shouldn't even be born yet.  Helps eliminate favoring one side or a flat head in the back.

We asked them to do another feeding readiness test and she scored a 16 out of 17 this time.  She missed "showing signs of how to handle a gag reflux."  This was high enough that I was able to feed her a bottle on Wednesday.  She ate 5 cc's again and did really well for me.  Cheryl, the speech therapist, came to watch a few times and suggested we use a slow flow nipple to give Makinley less volume and more time to swallow.  Some days the doctors say we can bottle her four times a day if she is alert and interested before a feeding but then another doctors say only twice.  We have already learned it is important to have someone in the room when doctors/practitioners do their rounds each day.  The hard part is you never know what time of day this will occur.  It is important to be an advocate for your child and to listen with attentive ears.  The doctor/practitioner usually changes every other week depending who is on schedule for that week.  So you can imagine how some information or thoughts can easily be lost or forgotten about.  For the most part Makinley is being seen by Dr. Stevens and Dr. Munson.  We have really become acquainted with Nurse Practitioner Jean who has been interning since right before Makinley was born.  We are thankful to see her everyday and are sad to see her internship coming to an end!

We met Dr. Haft for the first time this week.  He will be the doctor who works on Makinley's clubbed feet and helps make them functional.  He was impressed with how they looked and said we will touch base again when it gets closer to discharge date.  Right now her feet are too tiny to begin the casting process.

Her kidney ultrasound showed no change from prior to birth.  This means the left kidney is still slightly larger than the "normal" range but nothing we need to be concerned about.  We will just have to do another ultrasound in a few months.  They tried to take Makinley off of caffeine this week but had to re-start it once she started having a irregular breathing.  Once again - this is very common in premature babies and we will try to wean her off of it again later.

Makinley's 3 Weeks Old

We have had a very busy week so I will try to fill you all in on everything.  Makinley is now over the 5 lb mark!  5lbs 2 oz to be exact.  She is 42 cm long.  She seems so big already!  Here is the update on Makinley:

- Andrew and I have really been pushing for them to bottle Makinley.  As of now she has just been getting breastmilk through her NG tube.  We think she shows signs that she is ready.  On Tuesday they gave her a feeding readiness test.  She scored a 13 out of 17 which is not enough to pass.  A baby can only miss two signs in order to try bottling.  Makinley missed rooting, aroused before feeding, sucks on hands prior to feeding, and she could not suck her pacifier for 30 seconds straight.  These all seem like such minor things but we will be patient and try again in a couple of days.

- On Wednesday we moved away from the back wall of the NICU.  YAY!  This is just another step closer to going home.  The back wall is used for critical babies so moving to a side room is a good thing even though the room itself is smaller.  Room #3575 is our home for now and we are thankful we still have a window view.

- On Friday, the nurse decided Makinley was going to try her first bottle.  They do not let parents five the first bottle because they want to catch the early signs of choking or gagging she might display.  So Andrew and I just watched for now.  She was very alert and she ended up taking 5 mL which I thought was pretty good for her first time. 

- We tried to feed her again on Saturday but she was not interested this time.  They want to wait a few days now before trying again.

- The genetic testing from Makinley came back completely normal.  Since everything is normal we can only assume her clubbed feet came from low fluid amounts.  It is amazing to me how they knit pick everything when your baby is in the NICU.  For instance the genetics person told us Makinley only has one crease on the palm of her hands and we are supposed to have two.  OKAY???  They proceeded to tell me there is nothing to do for it but it is just another "deformity."  Really?  I proceeded to ask how you get creases in your hand.  Their response was moving your thumb inward creates one and forming a fist/folding your fingers down makes the second.  Wouldn't common sense kick in yet?  Makinley had no fluid in the womb.  Her hands did not move freely like most babies.  She probably has not had the time to create those lines and truthfully what does it matter.  That is my vent!  Just another example to listen with open ears but sort out what is REALLY importat and let the other stuff go.

- Makinley's red blood cells are currently low.  Last Monday they were 32 and now this Monday they are 28.  Doctors do not like to see them low and she will need a blood transfusion if they fall to 25.  For now we will continue to monitor her numbers.  I always think negative thoughts when it comes to getting a blood transfusion but I guess it is pretty typical for preemie babies.  I asked if I could give Makinley my blood since we are both O Positive blood type.  Unfortunately, they said no.  It takes a while to go through the necessary screening process and they assured me the blood given to preemie babies goes through more testing to make sure it is all safe.

- They also did an ultrasound on Makinley's kidney's today.  They wanted to check on one kidney that was slightly enflamed during pregnancy.  Makinley is also showing some signs of High Blood Pressure which they do not like to see in babies so they would like to rule out any kidney problems.  We hope to know the results in a few days.

Here is one more picture for the week - probably one of my favorites thus far!

Generations of Hands

 

Do we ever stop to think of the infinite loving acts of kindness that our mothers have bestowed upon us?  So much CAN be said but yet so much goes UNSAID.  Pictured is Makinley at two weeks old, Me at 25, my mom Cyndi at 49, and my dad's mom Rachel at 82.  So many stories are behind these faces and the hands that allow us to do God's work.  Enjoy these two articles that touched my heart and inspired us to take a picture of four generations of hands.

Her Hands

© Maggie Pittman

Her hands held me gently from the day I took my first breath.
Her hands helped to guide me as I took my first step.
Her hands held me close when the tears would start to fall.
Her hands were quick to show me that she would take care of it all.

Her hands were there to brush my hair, or straighten a wayward bow.
Her hands were often there to comfort the hurts that didn't always show.
Her hands helped hold the stars in place, and encouraged me to reach.
Her hands would clap and cheer and praise when I captured them at length.

Her hands would also push me, though not down or in harms way.
Her hands would punctuate the words, just do what I say.
Her hands sometimes had to discipline, to help bend this young tree.
Her hands would shape and mold me into all she knew I could be.

Her hands are now twisting with age and years of work,
Her hand now needs my gentle touch to rub away the hurt.
Her hands are more beautiful than anything can be.
Her hands are the reason I am me.

Our Mama’s Hands
by Marcella L. True

I saw you looking at your hands with disgust
You hate them now and hide them you must
But mama, there’s no shame in hands so worn
Because all they’ve touched since you were born

You say you hate them ‘cause they’re so frail,
So veined and aged and red, not pale
You don’t remember how much they’ve done
To bring the 5 of us to who we’ve become

You don’t remember the love they’ve shown
The tireless tending to us we’ve known
To tying the shoes and showing us how
To guiding us through all we know now

You don’t remember they’ve nurtured us well
That they soothed us so tenderly when we fell
That they hugged and held us when we were hurt
That they scrubbed and cleaned us of the dirt

You don’t remember that they wiped our tears
That they gave us a refuge from our fears
That they washed and doctored our injured knees
And they offered a tissue when we sneezed

You have no reason to hate them now
Without those hands we would not know how
To use our own hands as you once did
To soothe and nurture and worries to rid

We can hopefully teach our young ones now
That our hands are special and that somehow
It all began with your loving hands
They are so special and that’s how it stands
Mama, don’t hate them, ‘cause they’re etched with love
And Daddy’s patiently waiting to hold them, up above