We had another appointment today and we are definitely praising God for where we are at so far and the positive news we received today. We still have a very long hill to climb, our situation could change at any moment, but for today we can be thankful that everything looks stable. At our appointment today we once again did a blood test and an ultrasound. My white blood cell count was just a little higher than last time but
still nothing we should be worried about. It was at 11.7 and Cindy said we shouldn't be worried until 14-15. So this, along with me not having any fevers all weeks, means that I am not getting any infections which would be bad for the baby and me.
Next we had our ultrasound which showed our little baby was still very active. Heart rate was at 150 so he/she is still holding strong. We asked about the fluid and Dr. Grossmann didn't want to get our hopes up since we weren't using a high tech machine but he thought he was able to see at least one or two pockets of fluid that weren't there last week. So this is also good news. We noticed we were getting to see a different angle of our baby than what it was at all our other ultrasounds. So although there is not enough fluid for our baby to turn from breach to head down, there is enough that it is flipping from side to side....also good.
Thanks for your prayers for us and for this baby - as of right now God has decided to let this little one stick with us. We thank Him for any amount of time that He grants us. We also realize that even though this is all good news - we still need to build up more fluid in order to help the baby's development. Our next appointment is on Friday which will be in Sioux Falls. Since we have made it this far and I am still feeling fine my doctor wants us to get a better, higher tech, ultrasound and see one of the specialists we saw before. Once again - figure no news is good news until then.
We want you to know that we appreciate all of your prayers and support. It is very comforting to know that we are being uplifted by so many friends and family. We also want to thank our loving Father because without Him none of this would have been possible. He has picked us up when we are down and we definitely feel His loving hands around us.
(To Makinley) Way to go baby GIRL! Today Dr. Grossmann was able to get a good enough picture of you to guess that you were most likely a girl. We were so happy to have a gender! We loved you either way but now we know just a little more about you in case something does happen. Words will never be able to explain our excitement. Your daddy is in love with you already and I swear he would give you anything you ask for now already. I am shocked that we are having a girl and I can't help but think of the future and how fun it may be to go shopping with you and buy you all kinds of cute clothes and bows! We are so proud of the way you are hanging in there and that you continue to beat all odds. We plan to keep fighting for you baby Girl and we will keep taking it one day at a time to see how God's plan unfolds.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
17 Weeks Along: Week 1 of Bed Rest
I am sure you are all wondering what has been happening the last few days since we have not been sending out emails. So far we are in the same spot that we were when we were discharged from Sanford on Monday afternoon. The last few days have been good - little to no bleeding and I have been feeling okay. Although they have not put me on bed rest I am trying to help the situation by laying/reclining most of the time and drinking lots of fluid. We had an appointment today in Orange City with our own doctor and found out that nothing has changed. Baby still had a strong heartbeat but fluid levels have not changed. There are a few "pockets" of fluid in different areas around the baby but nothing that they can measure in a number like it should be. My white blood cell count was higher than Monday which means my body could be starting to fight an infection but since it was still in the normal range and no fever it is nothing to be concerned about yet.
As of right now we are scheduled to go back next Friday for another ultrasound and blood test. This will continue for the next few weeks as long as we stay in this state. I am not working at the moment and will not be returning to the Sioux Center Chamber until after we have this baby in either situation. I am doing some Farm Bureau work from home which is nice because it helps make the day go faster and puts my mind to work. Andrew has been trying to put in some time at work - things out at the airport and trips that aren't far away. This is what we plan to do for the time being. It will be harder this week because my sister Dee will not be around anymore and I will be staying home by myself. We appreciated the time that she was up here and we're thankful for all of her help. We passed the time together watching many movies from Redbox and eating chips & salsa. Before she took off for home today we did something "normal." After not going anywhere for a week I was thankful to get out for our appointment. This weekend was also the Orange City Tulip Festival so we ate together at one of the food booths. Up until a week ago I was working out regularly. I could tell I had done nothing all week because we maybe walked ten blocks and by the time we reached our vehicle I was ready to get home and lay down for a while.
Continue to pray for patience and health. If I were to get an infection we would have no choice but to take the baby as it would be serious for the baby and for me. We are grateful to all of you for your continued prayers for us and for this baby. We are going to give it a fighting chance and the rest is in God's hands.
(To Makinley) Today we were supposed to be running a 5k together at the Tulip Festival in Orange City. Instead, we hung out together on the couch and watched more movies. I plan to hang out on this couch as long as it takes for you to arrive safely!
As of right now we are scheduled to go back next Friday for another ultrasound and blood test. This will continue for the next few weeks as long as we stay in this state. I am not working at the moment and will not be returning to the Sioux Center Chamber until after we have this baby in either situation. I am doing some Farm Bureau work from home which is nice because it helps make the day go faster and puts my mind to work. Andrew has been trying to put in some time at work - things out at the airport and trips that aren't far away. This is what we plan to do for the time being. It will be harder this week because my sister Dee will not be around anymore and I will be staying home by myself. We appreciated the time that she was up here and we're thankful for all of her help. We passed the time together watching many movies from Redbox and eating chips & salsa. Before she took off for home today we did something "normal." After not going anywhere for a week I was thankful to get out for our appointment. This weekend was also the Orange City Tulip Festival so we ate together at one of the food booths. Up until a week ago I was working out regularly. I could tell I had done nothing all week because we maybe walked ten blocks and by the time we reached our vehicle I was ready to get home and lay down for a while.
Continue to pray for patience and health. If I were to get an infection we would have no choice but to take the baby as it would be serious for the baby and for me. We are grateful to all of you for your continued prayers for us and for this baby. We are going to give it a fighting chance and the rest is in God's hands.
(To Makinley) Today we were supposed to be running a 5k together at the Tulip Festival in Orange City. Instead, we hung out together on the couch and watched more movies. I plan to hang out on this couch as long as it takes for you to arrive safely!
Monday, May 16, 2011
The Next Step
Sunday morning came quickly. I think both of us ended up sleeping for short periods of time but nothing great. At 9 am we met with the OB specialist Dr. Van Eerden at Sanford who deals with preterm births and we had another ultrasound. Our little baby is still fighting and his/her heart rate is strong. He said at this point all we can do is wait. As long as God allows our little baby to be strong we will continue to fight for this baby. He didn't want to give us false hope but said there is the chance yet that the fluid could rebuild, I stop bleeding, and we make it to a stage where the baby could live. IF this is the case we ask for prayers for lung development. With little fluid it is hard for the baby to grow its lungs.
Andrew and I are emotionally exhausted. We both try to block out the fact that this is really happening but then it all comes flooding back at different times. You start thinking of things you never thought you would have to worry about. Will the baby die inside of me? What do we name the baby if we don't know if it is a boy or a girl? I want to know our baby's gender now. How much does a funeral cost? Where will we bury our baby? Do you bury a baby this small? Do we need to have the baby baptized when it is born? All of these are questions that took over our thoughts but we both continually pushed them away reasoning they didn't need answers until we lost the baby.
This morning (Monday) we had many decisions to make. Dr. Boyle, another maternal fetal medicine doctor came and met with us. He also told us that there was nothing we could do at this point for the baby. The baby would be too small to survive if we were to deliver. He said it could be a few days or even a couple weeks before I would most likely miscarry. The first question we asked him was what caused me to rupture. He answered that most women either miscarry before 12 weeks or they go into preterm labor around 24 weeks or after. Less than 5% of women have their water break in between those two time frames. He had no more answers for us. The usual causes such as blood clot or something wrong with the baby such has his/her brain not divided or an infection did not seem to be the case. His only guesses were that the membrane around the baby got pinched in development and as the baby grew that created a weak point and it ripped. Andrew and I proceeded to ask him what I should do in the next few days or weeks. He said I could go about my daily activities and whatever I was comfortable with because we would not be causing any harm to the baby. My first thought was "Go about my daily routine....there is no way I am going to be able to focus on anything but this baby. I am going to fight for this baby as long as God asks me to and our baby keeps fighting." He suggested that we make a follow up appointment with Dr. Grossmann in Orange City so that we could continue to monitor my white blood cell count and check the baby again in a few days.
Thankfully the bleeding all stopped yesterday and therefore we have just be hanging out in our hospital room. Roni came and spoke with us about whether we wanted to continue to wait at the hospital, get a room at the Ronald McDonald house, or return to our own home. I think we both ruled out the hospital only because we didn't have a time frame. If we stayed at the Ronald McDonald house someone would have to be with me 24/7 because I am pregnant. This would work for maybe a week but then we didn't know who we would have come to stay with me. If I were to miscarry, Dr. Grossmann was now comfortable delivering me in Orange City. They sent me to Sanford originally because they wanted to make sure we had looked into all of our options for the baby's sake.
We made the decision to return home. We concluded this would be more comfortable, Andrew would be able to work during the day and still be close if I needed him, and we were comfortable heading to Orange City Hospital when the time came. We also made the decision to put me on bed rest. We both want to be reassured that no matter what our outcome - we can be confident that we did everything possible for this baby to survive. This means I will have to do eight weeks of bed rest to reach 24 weeks gestation for the baby to even be considered viable. I am ready for the challenge if it means getting to raise my baby!
My sister Deann met us at home and planned to stay for a few days. As hard as it was to face her, I am glad that she is here and we are able to be together. God knew we would need her help and maybe that is why she has not found a job yet. She brought some beautiful roses to welcome us home and to remind us that we are in this journey not only by ourselves but God is by our side.
Things we ask you to pray for:
1. Strength & patience for us. We could be waiting to have a healthy baby if we make it far enough. You have to start somewhere with that process too. Although odds are that is not the case it is still something we think about. Or patience for the other end of waiting for days, weeks, possibly months to have this baby and lose it.
2. Health for me and the baby. The biggest risk right now is me getting an infection. Since their is no fluid around the baby, infections can get into the membrane, placenta, and in turn into my bloodstream. If this happens we would have to start things at the hospital and get the baby out in order for them to treat me before I got very sick. I am monitoring this every 4 hours by taking my temperature. If it spikes above 100 we are supposed to go in immediately.
3. A miracle - we all know that God is the ultimate miracle worker and he can make anything happen. If it is His will this baby will be born healthy and survive. We want you all to know that we are definitely open to that possibility and pray for that to happen but we also want you to be prepared for the worst. Sometimes you can go full term and the baby still will not survive because the lungs couldn't develop during this crucial stage. So we are leaving it all in God's hands - either way.
2. Health for me and the baby. The biggest risk right now is me getting an infection. Since their is no fluid around the baby, infections can get into the membrane, placenta, and in turn into my bloodstream. If this happens we would have to start things at the hospital and get the baby out in order for them to treat me before I got very sick. I am monitoring this every 4 hours by taking my temperature. If it spikes above 100 we are supposed to go in immediately.
3. A miracle - we all know that God is the ultimate miracle worker and he can make anything happen. If it is His will this baby will be born healthy and survive. We want you all to know that we are definitely open to that possibility and pray for that to happen but we also want you to be prepared for the worst. Sometimes you can go full term and the baby still will not survive because the lungs couldn't develop during this crucial stage. So we are leaving it all in God's hands - either way.
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| 16 weeks - we love this baby so much and we are glad that he/she is still a part of our family after this weekend. |
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| This is the beautiful arrangement Dee brought along. Three roses along with a baby blanket. |
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Premature Rupture at 16 Weeks
Every girl dreams of having kids someday. We play house with our baby dolls and our barbies and we have the perfect little family. In those dreams everything just "works out." I came to realize that this is not always the case. I have watched friends struggle to get pregnant, have miscarriages, or lose babies prematurely but yet I never considered something would go wrong with MY pregnancy.
Saturday, May 14 is a day that I will never forget. I was 16 weeks along in my pregnancy and things were going as well as anyone could hope. I had not been sick, I had plenty of energy, and I was excited about becoming a new mom. I traveled with some girls on Friday to attend a friend's wedding in Oskaloosa and I was spending the weekend at my parents home. Andrew decided to stay in Sioux Center this weekend since we were both back in Oskaloosa last weekend to share the news with most of our family. On Friday night I woke up with slight spotting but thought nothing of it. I had a friend who was pregnant and she was having some similar issues so I was sure it was nothing. So when I called Andrew in the morning to tell him - he told me to call in to Orange City Clinic just to make sure that was normal. I reluctantly agreed. Not more than an hour later they called me back and told me I needed to get checked out.
In an instant, I went from being completely calm to extremely worried. My heart started racing and I really wished that Andrew would have decided to come along this weekend. I was driving to Pella for a baby shower so I opted to visit the Pella Hospital hoping for a quick visit so I could still attend the shower. Upon arrival they asked me a series of questions and decided they would do an ultrasound to check things out. Unfortunately, it was the weekend, so I ended up waiting 30-40 minutes until a technician could arrive to perform the ultrasound. She performed the ultrasound and I could see the baby moving and also could hear the heart beat. My mind was now at ease. They brought me back to my room and I thought I would be let go shortly. Not so much. I continued to wait, in a small hospital room, by myself for the next hour and a half. By this point I am furious because why can't someone come and tell me what is going on. Finally, the doctor comes back. He says that the baby looks fine but I have prematurely ruptured. There was no longer any fluid around the baby. He proceeds to tell me that the odds of our baby making it were not very good. There is a small chance that the membrane around the baby could grow together and fluid would return otherwise the baby will not make it without any fluid.
So many things flood to your mind when someone tells you such devastating news. I wanted to run from the hospital and ignore what I had been told. I wondered if I should get a second opinion. We just had an ultrasound on Monday and the baby looked fine. This couldn't really be happening. Did I do something wrong? Maybe I should not have mopped the floors before I left this weekend. Did I do too much in Florida? How I am I going to tell Andrew? How are we going to tell our family? I could probably write a whole book on everything that was rapidly going through my head.
I listened to the rest of the information the doctor was telling me but truthfully I didn't comprehend half of it. I was focused on leaving the hospital and making it to the car before I started crying. I was trying to hold on to the hope that maybe we will regain fluid and our baby will make it but I knew that odds were not in our favor. I made it to the car and by this point my hands were shaking, my body was hot all over, and I didn't know how I was going to tell Andrew over the phone. I don't think I have ever dreaded a phone call so much in my life. How do you start a conversation like that? I guess you could say I didn't - by the time I dialed the number I was already crying so Andrew knew the information was not good. I managed to get out that my water broke and there was no more fluid around the baby. I told him that we most likely would lose the baby. (Many people have asked if I knew when my water broke - the answer is yes - but when you are 16 weeks along and carrying your first child you do not have a lot of fluid and you do not know what it feels like to have your water break. Therefore I did not assume anything was wrong.)
We immediately decided that we needed to be together to process this information and Andrew would either drive or fly down to get me. The flying option would be a benefit to having a pilot for a husband. It was now noon on Saturday and the bleeding had stopped so the doctor said only time would give us any answers. There was no reason for me to travel back to Sioux Center other than the fact that I wanted to be in my own home, with my husband, and near doctors that we were familiar to us. Since there was nothing urgent we decided that my parents would start driving me towards Sioux Center and Andrew would start coming towards Oskaloosa; we would meet in the middle somewhere.
Menlo Exit: This is where we ended up meeting Andrew. There was nothing special about this exit - we were parked at the opening of a bean field but yet we joked that we would never forget this exit. We said goodbye to my parents and I think we all thought this would be the last goodbye while the baby was still with us as well.
As Andrew and I drove back to Sioux Center we had a lot of time to think. The questions of why us and what are we supposed to do now both lingered on our minds. Two days ago I traveled back to Oskaloosa for a friend's wedding and now we find ourselves trying to cope with the idea that we will not get to know this baby on earth but more likely in heaven. I was angry because the timing seemed awful. We thought we were "out of the woods" since we were 16 weeks before we told family. Now our family knew and we would have to explain all of this to them too. Why are we losing this baby NOW? We knew that we were not going to get answers to all of our questions but we were just looking forward to being home together to face whatever was going to happen next. Little did we know that things would start to happen shortly after we arrived back in Sioux Center. I had asked the Pella doctor if I should be concerned about anything. He said I could miscarry at home but since I was so far along if I started to bleed a lot I should go in to the hospital. So later Saturday evening, I started bleeding more and we called Orange City hospital to question whether I needed to head in for observation. They agreed we should come in.
Before leaving our home that night we cried together and said our goodbye's to our baby. We were sure by this point he/she was already gone and we would not have the opportunity to raise him/her. We took a few pictures so that we could still hold onto the precious memories we had with our baby. We sent a text to our immediate family to let them know what was going on and to pray for us and our baby. We both know that God had a plan for this baby before He even created him/her but we would love for that plan to include us. If this is not Gods will, we ask that you pray for strength for us as we cope with losing the baby. We know God's love is much greater than ours so either way this baby is in a good place.
Ironically, amidst the chaos of the day, Andrew and I were both at peace with whatever happened. We could feel God with us and we knew that He had it all under control. It is hard to explain how one can be okay with such a horrible scenario but yet we were. We knew it was God's presence/plan and we were just along for the ride. People always say you can feel the presence of God and now we can agree 100% because we were blessed to experience it. Don't get me wrong - we wanted it to have a happy ending but we also wanted God's will to be done.
We knew God had a hand over us the entire day. We just drove five hours home and had no complications. I could have easily started bleeding on the trip home. The second stand out moment to us was the doctor that God had on call in Orange City. Dr. Hanson took care of us in Orange City and he was saying all of the "right" things that we needed to hear. He told us that no matter what happened with our baby we needed to put our trust back in God to try again for more kids. God is a great God and we shouldn't shy away because we were facing trial. He went on to perform an ultrasound and we were all shocked that our baby was still doing great! There were no signs of stress and the heart beat was as strong as ever. It was decided that we should head to Sanford Hospital in Sioux Falls to be checked out by a specialist. Although we are very early in the pregnancy they wanted to look at all options. We had not packed any bags along with us so we were given the option to go by ambulance or drive ourselves. Since the baby was not considered viable yet they didn't think it would cause any more problems if we went home first to pack. So we opted for that option - also gave us some more time alone. Before leaving that night Dr. Hanson prayed with us. Andrew and I will forever appreciate the care he gave us but more so for the unconditional Christian love he showed to us without even knowing us.
We arrived at Sanford around 2:30 am on Sunday morning. We were accidentally given directions to Avera Hospital so we had an interesting time trying to find the Sanford emergency room. It was also pouring down rain which in a way was comforting to break the silence but I am sure it made driving more difficult for Andrew. We finally flagged down a cop to give us the correct street for Sanford and we located the hospital. We were checked in and they confirmed that I was not dilated at all and therefore we would wait to do an ultrasound and talk with the specialist until morning. It was 5 am now and we were exhausted. Tomorrow would be another day of many questions.
(To Makinley): We have never been so heartbroken in our lives. I felt like someone punched the air out of me when they told me you weren't going to make it. We want so badly to have you as a part of our family. You are already loved by so many people and we pray over and over again that it is God's plan for you to be with us. We love you soo much! I already have an airplane onesie waiting for you to wear proudly and we have so many dreams for you. You are a blessing to us no matter what happens. We know you will be in a good place whether you live with us on earth or go to live with Jesus in Heaven. We know He loves you too. Please keep being strong. We hope you are not having to work too hard and that you are still comfortable inside of mommy. You will forever have a place in our hearts!
Saturday, May 14 is a day that I will never forget. I was 16 weeks along in my pregnancy and things were going as well as anyone could hope. I had not been sick, I had plenty of energy, and I was excited about becoming a new mom. I traveled with some girls on Friday to attend a friend's wedding in Oskaloosa and I was spending the weekend at my parents home. Andrew decided to stay in Sioux Center this weekend since we were both back in Oskaloosa last weekend to share the news with most of our family. On Friday night I woke up with slight spotting but thought nothing of it. I had a friend who was pregnant and she was having some similar issues so I was sure it was nothing. So when I called Andrew in the morning to tell him - he told me to call in to Orange City Clinic just to make sure that was normal. I reluctantly agreed. Not more than an hour later they called me back and told me I needed to get checked out.
In an instant, I went from being completely calm to extremely worried. My heart started racing and I really wished that Andrew would have decided to come along this weekend. I was driving to Pella for a baby shower so I opted to visit the Pella Hospital hoping for a quick visit so I could still attend the shower. Upon arrival they asked me a series of questions and decided they would do an ultrasound to check things out. Unfortunately, it was the weekend, so I ended up waiting 30-40 minutes until a technician could arrive to perform the ultrasound. She performed the ultrasound and I could see the baby moving and also could hear the heart beat. My mind was now at ease. They brought me back to my room and I thought I would be let go shortly. Not so much. I continued to wait, in a small hospital room, by myself for the next hour and a half. By this point I am furious because why can't someone come and tell me what is going on. Finally, the doctor comes back. He says that the baby looks fine but I have prematurely ruptured. There was no longer any fluid around the baby. He proceeds to tell me that the odds of our baby making it were not very good. There is a small chance that the membrane around the baby could grow together and fluid would return otherwise the baby will not make it without any fluid.
So many things flood to your mind when someone tells you such devastating news. I wanted to run from the hospital and ignore what I had been told. I wondered if I should get a second opinion. We just had an ultrasound on Monday and the baby looked fine. This couldn't really be happening. Did I do something wrong? Maybe I should not have mopped the floors before I left this weekend. Did I do too much in Florida? How I am I going to tell Andrew? How are we going to tell our family? I could probably write a whole book on everything that was rapidly going through my head.
I listened to the rest of the information the doctor was telling me but truthfully I didn't comprehend half of it. I was focused on leaving the hospital and making it to the car before I started crying. I was trying to hold on to the hope that maybe we will regain fluid and our baby will make it but I knew that odds were not in our favor. I made it to the car and by this point my hands were shaking, my body was hot all over, and I didn't know how I was going to tell Andrew over the phone. I don't think I have ever dreaded a phone call so much in my life. How do you start a conversation like that? I guess you could say I didn't - by the time I dialed the number I was already crying so Andrew knew the information was not good. I managed to get out that my water broke and there was no more fluid around the baby. I told him that we most likely would lose the baby. (Many people have asked if I knew when my water broke - the answer is yes - but when you are 16 weeks along and carrying your first child you do not have a lot of fluid and you do not know what it feels like to have your water break. Therefore I did not assume anything was wrong.)
We immediately decided that we needed to be together to process this information and Andrew would either drive or fly down to get me. The flying option would be a benefit to having a pilot for a husband. It was now noon on Saturday and the bleeding had stopped so the doctor said only time would give us any answers. There was no reason for me to travel back to Sioux Center other than the fact that I wanted to be in my own home, with my husband, and near doctors that we were familiar to us. Since there was nothing urgent we decided that my parents would start driving me towards Sioux Center and Andrew would start coming towards Oskaloosa; we would meet in the middle somewhere.
Menlo Exit: This is where we ended up meeting Andrew. There was nothing special about this exit - we were parked at the opening of a bean field but yet we joked that we would never forget this exit. We said goodbye to my parents and I think we all thought this would be the last goodbye while the baby was still with us as well.
As Andrew and I drove back to Sioux Center we had a lot of time to think. The questions of why us and what are we supposed to do now both lingered on our minds. Two days ago I traveled back to Oskaloosa for a friend's wedding and now we find ourselves trying to cope with the idea that we will not get to know this baby on earth but more likely in heaven. I was angry because the timing seemed awful. We thought we were "out of the woods" since we were 16 weeks before we told family. Now our family knew and we would have to explain all of this to them too. Why are we losing this baby NOW? We knew that we were not going to get answers to all of our questions but we were just looking forward to being home together to face whatever was going to happen next. Little did we know that things would start to happen shortly after we arrived back in Sioux Center. I had asked the Pella doctor if I should be concerned about anything. He said I could miscarry at home but since I was so far along if I started to bleed a lot I should go in to the hospital. So later Saturday evening, I started bleeding more and we called Orange City hospital to question whether I needed to head in for observation. They agreed we should come in.
Before leaving our home that night we cried together and said our goodbye's to our baby. We were sure by this point he/she was already gone and we would not have the opportunity to raise him/her. We took a few pictures so that we could still hold onto the precious memories we had with our baby. We sent a text to our immediate family to let them know what was going on and to pray for us and our baby. We both know that God had a plan for this baby before He even created him/her but we would love for that plan to include us. If this is not Gods will, we ask that you pray for strength for us as we cope with losing the baby. We know God's love is much greater than ours so either way this baby is in a good place.
Ironically, amidst the chaos of the day, Andrew and I were both at peace with whatever happened. We could feel God with us and we knew that He had it all under control. It is hard to explain how one can be okay with such a horrible scenario but yet we were. We knew it was God's presence/plan and we were just along for the ride. People always say you can feel the presence of God and now we can agree 100% because we were blessed to experience it. Don't get me wrong - we wanted it to have a happy ending but we also wanted God's will to be done.
We knew God had a hand over us the entire day. We just drove five hours home and had no complications. I could have easily started bleeding on the trip home. The second stand out moment to us was the doctor that God had on call in Orange City. Dr. Hanson took care of us in Orange City and he was saying all of the "right" things that we needed to hear. He told us that no matter what happened with our baby we needed to put our trust back in God to try again for more kids. God is a great God and we shouldn't shy away because we were facing trial. He went on to perform an ultrasound and we were all shocked that our baby was still doing great! There were no signs of stress and the heart beat was as strong as ever. It was decided that we should head to Sanford Hospital in Sioux Falls to be checked out by a specialist. Although we are very early in the pregnancy they wanted to look at all options. We had not packed any bags along with us so we were given the option to go by ambulance or drive ourselves. Since the baby was not considered viable yet they didn't think it would cause any more problems if we went home first to pack. So we opted for that option - also gave us some more time alone. Before leaving that night Dr. Hanson prayed with us. Andrew and I will forever appreciate the care he gave us but more so for the unconditional Christian love he showed to us without even knowing us.
We arrived at Sanford around 2:30 am on Sunday morning. We were accidentally given directions to Avera Hospital so we had an interesting time trying to find the Sanford emergency room. It was also pouring down rain which in a way was comforting to break the silence but I am sure it made driving more difficult for Andrew. We finally flagged down a cop to give us the correct street for Sanford and we located the hospital. We were checked in and they confirmed that I was not dilated at all and therefore we would wait to do an ultrasound and talk with the specialist until morning. It was 5 am now and we were exhausted. Tomorrow would be another day of many questions.
(To Makinley): We have never been so heartbroken in our lives. I felt like someone punched the air out of me when they told me you weren't going to make it. We want so badly to have you as a part of our family. You are already loved by so many people and we pray over and over again that it is God's plan for you to be with us. We love you soo much! I already have an airplane onesie waiting for you to wear proudly and we have so many dreams for you. You are a blessing to us no matter what happens. We know you will be in a good place whether you live with us on earth or go to live with Jesus in Heaven. We know He loves you too. Please keep being strong. We hope you are not having to work too hard and that you are still comfortable inside of mommy. You will forever have a place in our hearts!
Monday, May 9, 2011
15.5 weeks pregnant
Andrew came along today for our second appointment. I didn’t expect an ultrasound at the first appointment or he would have come along then. He didn't get to see the baby but was at least able to hear the baby’s heartbeat on the Doppler and experience how exciting it is to hear. Everything is looking great. Our baby must like to eat because it is growing a week ahead of schedule. This may mean we are off on due date but for now they will not change the estimated date of arrival.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
We're Pregnant; Sharing the News
We headed to Oskaloosa this weekend for Deann & Layton's Graduation from Iowa State, Tulip Time in Pella, Mother’s Day, and to tell my family about the baby! It was so fun to see their facial expressions and excitement about becoming grandparents/aunts for the first time. Here are the stories:
* We told my parents the on Friday night when we arrived in Oskaloosa. I had blown up an ultrasound picture and put it in a frame that said "grandchildren." I wrapped it up and let mom open it for an early Mother’s Day present. They were both happy for us! Mom joked about whether she would turn 50 first or be a grandma first because the baby is due one day after her birthday of October 27.
* We told Aunt Dee at Tulip Time. She has been frustrated trying to find a job after college. I told her that if she could wait a few months she could come and be my nanny after the baby was born and I would go back to work. She was thrilled about the baby but didn’t think Layton would go for moving to Sioux Center J
* I am a big fan of flannel blankets. My grandma Fynaardt has made many blankets for me and on a few I have been able to help out a little bit. She just finished making a quilt looking flannel blanket for our master bedroom. We stopped by their house to pick it up and I asked her if she would be willing to make some more. I went on to inform her they wouldn’t be for me but they could be in baby colors for our baby! They also were so excited to become great grandparents again. This baby will be great grand child number ten.
* On the way back from Oskaloosa we stopped in Orange City to tell Andrew’s mom the news as well. She was also given a card/picture that said she was becoming a grandma!
* Since I have shared all of these stories I will also share how we told Adam, Andrew’s older brother. We stopped at his apartment after we landed in Sioux Falls from our Florida trip. We ate supper with him and his girlfriend Teresa. We have been working to finish off our basement the last few months so Andrew told Adam we might need help moving the spare room furniture to the basement to make room for the nursery upstairs. He was surprised and not expecting it at all but they were both excited for our growing family.
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